Tuesday, September 29, 2015

THE JOKER

If Cancer were a person I think he would like the Joker.  Definitely someone you would want to run away from and hide.  Forever.  He is a liar and a schemer and all powerful and for all our medical abilities he somehow finds ways around it...........and sometimes he wins, and sometimes we kick the crap out of him.
 
 
If Cancer were a road map, it would be one you would not want to follow.   First it would look like everything is all planned out, "do this and you will get here, go this way, and you end up at your destination".  The road map is a liar also. 
 
 Sometimes even doctors say one thing, and it ends up being another, today I think they are liars but tomorrow I may realize they are only human.
 
On Friday my Mom's blood work came back and all 21 tiny vials showed high risk cancer markers.  What that meant in her case is even though she took the hormones, and had the surgery, and her cat scans were clear, it is still floating around in her blood somewhere........waiting............the Doctor told us,............ not to turn back into breast cancer but possibly bone or brain ...............its amazing what 21 tiny vials of blood can show you and how fast they can scare you. 
 
And of course it smacked us right across the face because Mom had did everything the Doc. said, and she followed her treatment plan that looked like a winner, well treatment plans lie also.
 
Tomorrow she starts her first round of chemo.  We really don't know anything more than that.  And if we did it probably would be incorrect...that is what I have finally figured out when it comes to cancer and the person we love.  Nothing goes by the book, nothing goes by what the doctor tells you, or the internet, or the pamphlets..................cancer is powerful awful stuff, and we are scared.  Its our Mom and at her age, we want to protect her and make promises, that could turn out not to be the truth.   And then somehow we will have turned into the very things I am so mad at.  The liars.
 
 
I know there are so many good and happy things going on in your blogs and I am truly sorry to write such a crappy one to start your day. 
 
Please pray for Mom.
 
Deb

42 comments:

  1. You don't know how much we are praying and sending Fight Like A Frenchie vibes
    Lily & Edward

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  2. Dearest Debs, sending you lots of luffs and hugs, paws crossed for Mom, will be thinking of you all
    Loves and licky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx

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  3. Big hugs and boxer kisses from us. We'll cross our paws extra tight for your momma!

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  4. DEB WE ARE SO SORRY TO READ THIS. PLEASE GIVE YOUR MOM AN EXTRA HUG AND TELL HER WE ARE PRAYING VERY HARD FOR HER
    MADI AND CECILIA

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  5. I'm with you.... the big C seems can be even the devil himself... I'm so sad with you and your mom that you got such bad news... but I will cross my paws that your mom will win that fight and that she can kick the bad C away....

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  6. I am praying for your mom and the whole family, Stella Rose. Cancer is a sneaky SOB; it changes its mind all the time and whenever it feels like it. Having a Ma who worked in healthcare, we feel bad for everyone involved - patient, family, and yes...even the doctors. They try so hard but they cannot keep up with Cancer's sneakiness.
    Oz

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  7. Sending prayers and POTP!!!!!!

    Aroo to you,
    Sully

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  8. Deb don't be sorry for what you wrote and what you wrote is not crappy. Crappy is the cancer that made your write the post.
    To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. Just keep being yourself because we care and we are praying for your Mom.
    We feel blessed to have you as a friend
    Sweet William The Scot

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  9. We agree with you 100 percent.
    We're all trying to KICK CANCERS BUTT!
    Gosh ,, we understand how everyone is feeling..
    The chemo will be a special chemo - made just special for your mom..!
    Its KICK BUTT chemo
    love
    tweedles

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  10. No apologies necessary! I suspect everyone has been touched by this and it is very well written. We have seen the same thing about treatments changing. We have a friend that is in surgery this morning. He was declared cancer free and a few months later the colon cancer was back and spread into his small intestine. It is evil and if doctors were totally honest there are certain things they cannot answer with certainty. Unfortunately, we hate ambiguity. It just sucks. Prayers for your mom.

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

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  11. Awe we are all praying for your Mom! I hope she kicks that nasty cancer right in it's big ole booty!!!

    Hugs and Kisses,
    Ginger, Matt & Matilda

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  12. love and prayers non stop
    hugs
    Mr Bailey, Hazel & Mabel

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  13. Prayers coming her way. It is such a horrible disease....especially the waiting. Hugs to you and the pugs.

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  14. Sweet pugs, we will pray hard and fearfully for your sweet Mom!
    Sending lots of love and good mojo your way.
    XOXO

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  15. Sending lots of prayers and hugs your way Deb
    Beth, Dory and the Boyz

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  16. Oh No.... Sending over lots of prayers and hugs for your Mom.
    ♥♥♥

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  17. Oh no! What terrible news! We will definitely be sending lots and lots of good hopes and prayers!

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  18. Oh noes. I am so sorry to hear this. Cancer is a crapbomb. It can, and will, go off at anytime. It spreads it's crap everywhere. While nothing can stop that, I can say that furiends, family and Blogville, can help to lift you up, and wipe you off. yuck..how the hell did I gets on THIS analogy??? ☺
    Sendin' lots of prayers and POTP and AireZens!
    Kisses,
    Ruby ♥♥
    {{{hugs}}}

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  19. Our Mom battled cancer when she turned thirty and back than the treatments were not nearly as good as they are now - how 25 years later she she holds her breath every time they do a blood test to check for any cancer cells. We hope your Mom's Mom will be able kick Cancers butt

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  20. That is why we always call Cancer EVIL!!! It is ugly and insidious. We are so sorry the news wasn't better, but don't give up. Keep fighting for your Mom, and we will keep praying.

    Hugs and Woos - Ciara and Lightning and Mom

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  21. We're sending prayers and tons of AireZen♥

    Love ya lots♥
    Mitch and Molly

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  22. Deb, if you lie to make your mum feel better, safer, less worried, less burdened then you go right ahead and lie girl. We are right behind you and if you need a friend, we are all here for you. Love to you and your mum and everyone who needs some. Take care mate. No worries and love Carol, Stella and Rory
    Ps, yes cancer just plain sucks. We hate it with a passion.

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  23. Wait wait wait wait wait. Your mom, not you? And markers? Or really cancer? Praying for both of you. And the kitties.

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  24. You just go ahead and rant and scream and use HBO words! We will always be here for you. Cancer is a TERRIBLE thing. We've lost many to it. You just keep loving your Mom and holding her hand all that you can. The world is not fair so keep kicking it and stay strong.

    Hugs,
    Lily Belle & Muffin

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  25. Deb, Scary is right and it frustrates me that with all our advances, we still can't prevent it or cure it. Your mom is in our prayers.

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  26. We are behind you. I have a friend who had to go through all of it - mastectomy, chemo, radiation - and she's now 3 years cancer-free. You will be too. Lots of love and support to you.

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  27. Don't you dare feel the least bit guilty for posting on your health! We all want to know how you are and what we can do for you. We will be praying for you! A warm hug from all of us.

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  28. I am so sorry and I will keep you in my prayers. This is a great place to vent and I know everyone understands. Thats one of the great things about blogging. Ziggy has paws crossed and sends POTP

    God bless you

    Anne and Ziggy

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  29. Bad news indeed. Sending our love and hugs from across the Pond.
    All the best,
    Gail and Bertie.

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  30. Today is the start of LiveStrong month, we send and share our prayers for you, your Mom ~ for the family of love that surrounds her. LiveStrong and fight, it is what must be done by all of us, for all of us.

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  31. Sending you love and hugs. Life is so unfair!

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  32. There is no need to apologize. We all have no doubt been affected by cancer in some way and know how difficult this time is. Millie & Walter have their paws crossed tight and are sending all the healing vibes they can to your mom.

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  33. We haven't had any human cancer (knock on wood) but lost Kyla last Christmastime to melanoma. She needs to stay positive and fight it.

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  34. I am so sorry to read this. Cancer is so scary and does not discriminate. We are sending our love and prayers. Stay strong. ♥

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  35. Oh Deb so sorry to hear. Don't apologize, the best blog posts are the real ones. That way we all know to send you extra special loving big hearty hugs and wags and cold noses and hot breath that blasts those cancer risk markers right out into the stratosphere where they are transmuted to pure light then filter back down to you and bathe you in healing, wholesome, pure health that will overcome and vanquish any threat to your physical well-being.

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  36. I'm so sorry to hear this is happening to you all. We are sending all our prayers out to your mom - and to you - that things will get better. Daisy sends extra powerful Havachon healing hugs.

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  37. Sending many many prayers for your family and your Mom and may the days on your Journey be filled with promise and grace.

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  38. Mom and I said prayers for your mom to be strong and brave and for her doctors and nurses to be smart and compassionate. She will do fine. Medicine is amazing. And pugs are the best medicine!

    Love and licks,
    Cupcake

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  39. Sending you guys some good pug juju and will be keeping your Mom in our thoughts.

    -Love,
    Sid.

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