DIETZMAN LONG

THIS  is Mean Ole Cat Dietzman and he lives with us Pugs here in Iowa.  Some of you may not know anything about him, but others of you have heard our terror stories of him.  We don't usually write a lot about him cos he scares us to death and we just like to pretend he isn't roaming around our house.

We would like to be friends wif him but he hates us and every chance he gets he tries to hit us in the eyes.  Mom says its cos we are to rough and rowdy wif him  and it hurts his old bones.  Well, last night wesa were tucked in our beds, alone, wifout our mommy and daddy and guess who is sleeping in their warm bed, yep Mean Ole Cat Dietzman.  He NEVERS sleeps with anyone, he sleeps on the back of the couch so that ways he can scratch our visitors necks, which probably explains why we nevers has company. 

Yesterday it was below zero all day long, so Dietzy decided if hes wanted to be really warm he was gonna haf to compromise his morals and sleep with the humans.  Now Moms black comforter has orange hair all overs it but hers said that hers didn't care. 

See Dietzy's onliest job here at our house is to be the prison guard whenevers we are outside in our Alcatraz. He does a really good job impersonating the most horriblist prison guard there is also.

Mom said we needs to remembers that Dietzy is 17 years old.  She said he was a gift to her baby girl at a when their life was having some hard struggles.  Dietzman's littermates had been sold and he was the only kitten left.  Dietzman is a purrshun so he has some weird little characteristics. Anyway someone heard about moms baby girl and called up to see if she would like this kitten for FREE.  So mom drove to get him.  He was a terror from the moment she put hims in the car, and he still is.  They got him right around Christmas time and Mom came home from work and all of her glass ornaments she had brought back from Germany were broken on the floor and Dietzy was a sitting in the tree like a little owl.  The girls were laughing and laughing and mom said that laughter was the best thing she had heard in a long time.  When Mom moved in with our Dad Dietzman came wif her so he was the first four legger kid at Dad's house.  It took Dietzy about one weeks to like Dad  and afters that it was okay.

The others cats in the neighborhood hated Dietzman cos he was snotty to them and often beat him up.  Mom tried to tell him to be more kinder but Dietzman didn't and still doesn't understand that word very well.

So anyways last night he was laying down by OUR mom and hers was petting him and he was a purring, and she could feel how fragile he felt.  She petted him for a long long time, cos she could tell he was enjoying it so much.  This morning when hers got up for work, Dietzman always jumps off the couch for his breakfast, cos he finks he needs to eat before us pugs.  No Dietzy.  Mom panicked and looked all overs the house for him, upstairs, and behind the couch, and just when hers was getting real worried she went into theirs bedroom to wakes our Dad up and there was MEAN OLE CAT DIETZMAN laying right beside ours dad a sleepin away.

Mom smiled.
Stella Rose