Friday, May 15, 2015


Hey folks this is Margaret Mae Simpson (I have dad's last name not mom's cos he belongs to me) doing her job guarding Alcatraz against any visitors, grandmonsters and Dad's squirrels he loves more than me.  As you see I am the only pug earning her keep at our house.  Gussie is laying around on Mom's lap and Stella the perfect smelling rose is laying beside Mom...gaggaggaggag.............

So these are the ways I help around the house, and then I will tell you the horriblest story you have ever heard.  Horrible!!!!!  You might want to get the puke pan its that bad.
1. Guard the house, ...I do an excellent job and have lots of photo's to prove it.
2. Jump on Mom's hurt knees every day when she comes home to make her muscles stronger.  It is a proven fact if your dog jumps on area's of great pain, they will start to heal.
3. Start fights with Stella Rose just cos she looks at me cross-wise, this is also a proven fact it helps to keep her strong.  She is kinda lazy.
4. Go wif my Dad to the little gas station to buy beer.  I drive him home cos we can't afford any tickets because Dad spends all his monies on squirrel food.

So friends the list can go on and on but you get the general idea, I am the work horse of the household, the other two are just window dressing.  So why in the name of all dogs did my mom do this to me......She tried to KILL me!!

You read right, KILL me!!!   This is a true story and you may watch it one day on 48 hours.  I am waiting on the producer to call any day with a monetary offer.

Okay, it all started on Sunday.  Rainy, muddy, dreary day.  Our mom could hardly walk but for some reason decided it would be the day that we NEEDED our flea treatment.  Thankfully Dad was home to help her hold us, so she could put that crappy stuff on us.  I look at this moment as Dad was an accomplice but we have already worked it out ---him and I ----he is taking me on more beer runs ....hehehehhe...unknown to our mother....and a little beef jerky thrown in on the side.

So we get the treatments, and Mom notices my hair where she put it on us is really sticking up a lot, like a little Mohawk where Gus and Stella's looks normal.  She toles me later, after I had oxygen and the ambulance left ( I may have dreamed this part) that she thought there was more liquid in mine than theirs.  I admit I did accuse of her drinking more liquid than just her water, but hers promised me she did NOT!!

SOOOOOO about 30 minutes later I start scratching and itching the spot between my shoulders where mom poisoned me.  I itched and gagged....itched and gagged, itched and puked.  Repeatedly.  Mom got all worried and looked on the internet under---STOOPID MOTHER POISONS PUG and found out some pugs, THAT smarter more beautiful ones sometimes react to certain flea poisons. 

Last month Mom used it on me, so she thought we were in the clear.  WELL she forget I am Maggie Mae, who swelled up like a balloon after my shots last time. 

Anyways after puking and gagging and itching Mom calls the Frankenvet....Remember it is Sunday.  He answers unwillingly and she tells him what happened and he toles her to give me a baf in Dawn Dish Soap.  Luckily that is what Mom uses so we had it on hand, and then if the puking did not stop to bring me in for a special SHOT that will cost her 200,000.00 cos it is Sunday and he will haf to drive 1/4 of a mile to the clinic.

So Mom gives me not one baf in Dawn but three good washes in Dawn until my fur is clean and shiny.  Then I puked big time.  Even Gussie was impressed.  Mom grabbed Gussie and Stella Rose and gave them each a baf in Dawn just in case they started puking so we all ended up wet, and clean on Sunday.

I puked two more little times, and then Mom and I was exhausted.  So the three of us, wet, pugs climbed up in Mom's wet lap and we laid there for a few hours.  Mom was really enjoying the wet tshirt, and perfect wet dog smell.  IT WAS MOTHERS DAY AFTER ALL.

It took me most of the afternoon to stop being restless and finally sleep but I did.  I lived, but Mom is still on the bad list.

I toles her we did not need that crappy stuff, that we don't get fleas and ticks cos I am a good guard at Alcatraz. 

So Moms and Dads everywhere let this be a lesson to you, if you have blog your dog will tell on you if you mess up and we live to tell the story.

Maggie Mae Simpson


  1. UhOh.....I gots lots and lots of good stories to tell. Butt..I gots to be careful cause Mom is da only one who can reach da treat jar. Just sayin'......

  2. You tell'm MMS! Those mommas need to start listening to the Alcatraz guards, BOL. Glad that tummy is better
    Lily & Edward

  3. Oh my dearest BBF I am faintings with the horror of reading this!!!
    My poor sweet BFF, I cannot tell just how relieved I am that you are all betters now, I finks I am having palpitations!!!
    Loves and licky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx

  4. That was such a sad mothers day... I hope now efurrything is fine on your side of the pond... that flea poison can be sneaky, glad you haven't to see the vet, he probably would order a howl-i-copter for that 1/4 of a mile to the clinic...
    I send hugs to you all and I hope this weekend will be a better one...
    easy rider

  5. Ok, this is scary stuff and I'm so glad you survived the stress and trauma! You need a cheeseburger

  6. BOL I think your mom is trying to do you in and I think it's because she's jealous that your dad likes you best.

    Aroo to you,

  7. It is scary stuff - Dweeb had a severe reaction to flea treatment when he was little too - you just never know.

  8. GACKKKKKKKK hack GACKkkkkkkkkkk BLECH.... Splash Splatter...

    WE PUKED in the Pan..... OMD this is A HORROR.... like the SciFI Channel could NEVER even Dream up... type HORROR...
    OMD OMD we can't believe this.... BUTT WE DO...
    OH SO SORRY that happened to you... Go see if Ruby has any RITAS... you NEED one after this.... MAYBE 87.

  9. Oh Maggie Mae....thats terrible....good thing that Mom had that kinda leary of Mom......she is jealous cause you go on beer runs with Dad!

    The Mad Scots

  10. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...omd, i is so sorry, i not means to laugh at your near death experience but it was just so brilliantly written!
    You may want to consider suin' da company dat makes your stuffs...I hear Ernie is an excellent attorney.
    My mum wants knows if your mom has any mores of her special fluids:0
    PStells Gussie hellos for me

  11. OMD.....We are so glad that you are ok, and I am sure your Mama has learned her lesson...well, until next time ;-)
    Dory, Jakey, Arty & Bilbo

  12. Wow, you clearly have been abused. Furst there is no appreciation for your MANY contributions to the family. We can easily see how if it wasn't for you all those other people and doggies would not be able to survive or if they did it would be a bare minimum existence. And the thanks you get is near death by poisoning?? What the dog?? We are grateful that we do not have to use stuffs like that around here cuz fleas are not a problem. If you need to you can come stay here BUTT you cannot pee on the bed. Are you going to bring charges against your mom?

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

  13. Wow - sure they MAKE it look like accidental "this isn't the flea stuff my furs like" and next thing you know you're home sick while Mom is riding shotgun to the store to buy beer with your Dad, all cozied up to him on the seat like teenagers. That's how it starts.

    But your Mom does love you or she wouldn't get you the uber cool prison uniform which we are SO jealous off. I just got this Alabama Chain Gang harness to ride in the car with and it's not styling at all.

    Abby Lab

  14. Uh oh, glad your tummy recovered!

  15. Crikey ...... she tried to KILL you??????? No wonder you took your Daddy's name not HERS!!!!!!!! She's evil aye?? Tell your Daddy not to let her put that stuff on you ever again. A few drops of eucalyptus and tea tree oil in the final rinse, after a bath, keeps fleas away pretty good. It even works for ticks. That other stuff is deadly. Those Vet blokes just tell our Moms and Dads to use it so we get sick and have to go to them to get better.

  16. First of all, Maggie Mae, we are so glad that you are OK after all THAT!!! That must have been so scary for you and for your Mom. But we have to agree with Puddles - you made us laugh, you really know how to tell a great story:) Guess you won't be using that treatment any more. Phantom used to react badly to Frontline, but Mom uses Vectra now and it seems to work well. HOpe your Mom can find something that you can tolerate.

    Woos - Ciara and Lightning

  17. Whatta story to tell -- And I'm glad and thankful you lived to tell it!!! Tell your Mom that I've been afraid of having that same kinda story here at our house. Lets hope that there's no rerun!!

  18. We're sorry to hear you got sick from your flea medicine. Good thing your mom was able to get it off of you and you are feeling better now.

  19. Well,, thank goodness your all okay now,, and thank goodness for Dawn soap.
    Thats mighty scary. The dog police need to come get that poison from your house!

  20. OMD I am horrified!! That was the scariest story ever. I am so glad that you are ok and I can only hope your Mom learned her lesson from this. I mean you had to have a bath and everything. That is like adding insult to injury. I am so relieved that all is well and I hope you were rewarded greatly.

    Loveys Sasha

  21. So glad you are okay and love your rule number 2!! Yeah, it's good we stick together and rat out our humans when they screw up on us like that!

  22. So glad your ok. Remember your momma loves you.
    Retro rover

  23. Oh my dawg Margaret. We're glad you are ok. Sorry your mum tried to poison you butt as we know, your mum loves you to bits and pieces so it was an accident. We didn't spew reading about it but came close. Mum says if we spew we can bloomin' well clean it up ourselves and we'd be glad to have another hot meal bwahahaha. Hope your weekend is more relaxing than the last one. We hope your mum's knees feel better too. No worries and love Stella and Rory

  24. Wow! I hope everyone is all right now. I'm sure Mom meant well trying to keep those awful fleas and ticks away from you.

  25. Maggie Mae you sure can spin a story about all your unfortunate adventures. I had stomach soreness from laughing and worrying so much for you! I'm just glad you're ok and that Dad is taking appropriate measures of contriteness!

    Love, Gampy

  26. So glad you, Gussie & Stella Rose are okay! Our Maggie had a bad reaction to spot on flea treatment two years ago; she had a seizure, lost bladder control and could barely use her back legs. She was fine after a few baths, but our vet said that we could never use any spot on flea treatment again!

    She recommended some new flea collars that she uses on her own dogs, but Maggie & Duke chew their collars off. We used a cedar spray for the last 2 summers, it worked pretty well. We're now trying bug repellent vests from llbean. They seem good so far. Good luck!

  27. Mum might have to be sent into a corner to think about her actions.
    Have to excuse her though cos she has a bad knee. Oh, BOY !
    Luvs Freya Rose Blossom X

  28. I am so sorry. I promise I won't try to do any favors for anyone for six months. (not).

  29. Never seen a reaction in my dogs but that flea treatment stuff always did strike me as a little weird. Dab a substance onto an animal's skin, from whence it enters the bloodstream and renders it toxic to insects...what could go wrong? Glad everyone survived that ordeal!

  30. So sorry to hear about your reaction. as someone else suggested, get Ernie to handle your case before Frankie in the Court of Common Fleas against your mom.

    Hope you have no more problems.

    p.s. come visit my blog again!!!

  31. Oh, goodness, that was a scary story! I'm glad it had a happy ending! You'd think your mom would want to keep you around, since you do all the hard work that no one else is doing!