Last year I tried to be a reindeer for you but my app must have gotten lost in that big bundle of toys you carry around wif you in your sleigh or else evil Chrissy used it as TP and did not give it to you like hers promised me. Either way it is fine because Isa been thinking about all my new skills since last year, and I decided since you haf to travel all around the world you probably need a body guard and not another reindeer.
Do you see my muscles in this outfit?
Or what about when Isa is protecting little puppies and kitties from strangers?
So Santa I hope you finks long and hard about me being by your side, cos the world can be pretty rough at times and you always need to know your friends have got your back. Plus I work cheap.