Wednesday, March 11, 2015



 A dependable four-legged animal that would be willing to patrol the fenced in area known throughout our village as Alcatraz.

Must be willing to work in all types of weather, and soil conditions.  Must be more intelligent than the pugs he will be guarding and be understanding of their strange ways.  The guard will work from sun-up until sunset and will be able to take breaks only when the Pugs are not out in the yard getting their exercise.

The guard will not under any circumstances speak to the pugs, and form any kind of relationship with them, b they have been known to escape when you let your 'guard"

We would prefer someone who has had experience working with short stature dogs without any noses.  We would also prefer someone who has taken martial arts, and any type of training in search and rescue in case of an escape.

So far in the last month we have had two escapes.  They have always been at night time and we are investigating the Dad thinking he is  the one who did not properly do a lock down.

The pay is negotiable, vacation pay will be offered.  We recommend you bring your own food, and stay far away from the cafeteria. 

This is an excerpt that the last guard wrote in his daily journaling.....

" watched the three pugs run outside from the porch.  the short fat black one had to be carried down the steps due to her eye issue.  I feel she is to fat to run down the steps like the other two do and will need a personal exercise program.  So far the Warden does not agree with me. Margaret Mae has escaped from this maximum security prison on several occasions and has now made friends with Angus McConnell and will often drag him along with her.  Even after they were captured they refused to give up the driver who took them to Circle B gas station for a bottle of Mountain Dew.  We believe it is the father.  The short fat one is never invited along.......never eat the Warden's cooking ...the last time I tried her macaroni and cheese I coughed up hairballs for several weeks......"

If interested please apply through the local Iowa Workforce office.


  1. BOL The question that comes to my mind, what did you 3 pugs do to the previous guard to make him leave....hmmmm.

    Aroo to you,

  2. well.... I could send my dad, I will teach him to walk on 4 legs. he is a pawfect jailer, because he alcatrazzed my yard that no even a mouse can escape. he also alcatrazzed the mailbox with a padlock that not even the mail could escape... sadly that was more counter-productive, because of the padlock the post man wasn't able to deliver the mail... he needs no payment, butt he likes mac&cheese and eggs. he is a part time vegetarian and has no problems with meat- or hairballs...
    easy rider

  3. First, I love the convict outfits... BOL!!!! I think Dietz is looking down on you all and having a GREAT laugh from across the Bridge!

  4. mol mol mol the outfits are hilarious!! Bravo!! This is such a fun post. I, Madi, would apply except I don't like to travel. 10 minutes in a car is my limit. I know once I got there it would be a ton of fun
    Hugs madi your bfff

  5. It looks like the inmates have been incarcerated for a while. They all have a uniform that fits. We're wondering if you'd like to borrow Marcus until you can find a permanent employee. He will at least keep the short fat one (your words, not ours) exercised and all of them on their toes.

  6. I luffs the outfits! What is Mom doing to you? Alcatraz!!!!
    Well I'm glad to hear there's been two breakouts, knew you Pugs were too clevers to be confined by simple locks and fences! I'm sure your fellow furfriends in blogsville could organise a mass break out when required!
    Loves and licky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx

  7. To start, I love the outfits, and wonder what Todd would look like in one -- And we love macaroni and cheese, how could anyone not?! :-)

  8. I hope you can find someone you can trust! That's for sure!

  9. OMP! My dad always calls me the bouncer because I patrol the dog parks and make sure there's not too much fun being had. Although I don't know if I'm up for this type of work. Guarding three smart and mischievous pugs is no easy task! Oh, and before I forget - your striped prison-wear is hilarious! My dad says all pugs should come with one of those outfits as we play by our own rules. :)