DEAR ERNIEEEE THE ATTORNIEEEEE

DEAR ERNIE:
See what a good boy I am sitting wif Macey?  WELL today I had something BAD happen to me, and even though it will SHOCK you the whole thing was caused by my MOM.  NOW we here in blogville know MOM is skating on thin ice as far as her probation but I finks she has went to far...wayyyyy to far. She has fallen through the ice, is what she did.  Here is my story Ernie.

So MOM comes home at noon and says she has a surprise for her special boy (meaning me and not meanerthanhellcat Dietzman) and hers calls me into the kitchen and gives me a special treat of bread and butter.  WELL, if I would have had my finking cap on, I would have realized that butter DON'T crunch but Isa was just loving that butter so much........

THen hers sat down and ate her lunch.  She kept asking my DAD if he ThOUGht I looked SLEEPY and Dad said NO.  I wondered why she suddenly was so worried about my noon sleep habits cos usually we three pugs snooze a lot at noontime....but hers kept worrying about it.

I finally toles her, "mom don't worry so much, Isa gonna take a nice long nap when yousa go back to work...."

THEN after ONE hour she put my coat and harness on.....oh boyhowdy....that was meaning she didn't haf to go back to work, but was taking us out to the fairgrounds, and this time it was just going to be just  ME.  WEll Mags was jumping all around and so was Stella when they saw Mom put the harness on me.  BUTT Mom said only I could go.

She kept checking my eyes, and watching for a yawn, but I was so pumped up, I ran to the car, and jumped up in the backseat.   THEN I noticed we turned the OPPOSITE way of the fairground and headed out to the FRANKENVET!!!!!!!!!   WHAT THE DOG....so ERNIE do you see what my own mom did to me....she drugged me......wif drugs!!!!!

I started to cry, of course it was a manly cry and not a sissy pug cry...and MOM toles me it was gonna be okay, and kept telling me more and more lies. 

When we arrived at the FRANKENVET I promptly left peemail on the bushes just in case I was going to be put in captivity .....SO when SEARCH & RESCUE started looking for me, they would find evidence.........all the time MOM is looking a little green around hers ears, cos DAD toles her how bad it was last time wif getting my nails cut.  AND THE SLEEPING DRUG DID NOT WORK, COS I AM A SUPERHUMAN PUG!

This time I had my checkup, weight (21 lbs. of muscle) and shots AND glands and nails.  I WAS DONE FOR!!!!  I shook the walls of the office with my howls and screams.  Mom left the room because her guilt was so heavy she could not hardly stand, and hers faught hers was gonna puke;  another VET came rushing into the room to see what was making that horrible noise.  I figured at least I would go down FIGHTING and SCREAMING.

AT last I was finished being tortured  and they realized they could not beat Angus McConnell Long down any longer.  Mom dressed me quickly and paid the bill on the run.  So Ernie she PAID them to torture and drug me.....my own mom.

Now hers says it was for my own health, but hers is lying to me I finks.  Do you fink I have a case or do MOM's all over the world do this to their four legged children????????

Angus McConnell Long