"Your wings already exist......all you have to do is fly."
I was telling a friend the other day that when I started this blog I NEVER expected it to be like this. You know...like life, happy and sad, ....disappointing....hard......wonderful.....you know all the things that our real everyday life entails. After, all it was a blog about my dogs... how simple and fun would that be. Well, it was fun, but it also grew into a whole field of flowers with names like "memories" "loss" and "goodbye". I asked myself what happened to the funny blog about dogs??? How did my blog turn into life with real emotions ?
Somedays I want to shut my blog down, and take the first train out of blogville, I may even start to pack my bags, and sit on the suitcase, when my mind starts to drift towards the evitable..."wonder what Frankie and Ernie are doing today?', "wonder if Twee is working on another poem?" " do I think Casey is going to see us at the Octoberfest?" "are Murphy and Stanley working on their campaign" and so on. I worry if this friend is feeling better, or what happened to a friend I hadn't seen for sometime. Some days I spend more time in blogville then I do in realville, so I ask myself has blogville became my realville????
I don't know and I don't really care, cos I know blogville is someplace special and loving and comforting. Its easier on the heart than the world I see outside this window. So I choose to stay.
Today in blogville is about remembering all our loves who has gone ahead of us. I know all of us have felt grief from a goodbye that comes to soon, it is the fabric that holds us to one another.
When I go on quiet walks down to the river, I like to try to see if I can feel my Sammy J. and Trudie standing beside me.
I feel the wind.
I look out at all of Mother Nature around me, and I know their story has already been told, that the end is not any different today as it was on the day that they left me. That my loss is slowly turning into a thanksgiving that I was given the chance even though short, to enjoy and feel their love. My anger and heartache, turning into a soft whisper of a feather falling against my cheek.
A lesson learned.
And now little Greta.
I always think of similarities between the Pug Ranch and Ours. Three pugs, two girls and a boy, loving parents, funny pugs. Adventures and laughter. And loss. A strong foundation to build upon, giving and loving hearts. Not fair, to young to lose, ........change.
Leaves fall, and the ground takes a rest, and before we know it, new leaves are budding and the sun is warm again, and a new year is laid before our eyes. It takes real courage to put your foot in front of the other, to open your hearts to strangers, to make friends, ......to go on. They would not expect any less from us, would they.