Momma comes home from work last night and starts packing her puggy bag that Momma Mindy sent her. THEN hers puts Mags and Me's harnesses on us, and we start jumping all around high-5ing each other cos we knows we going out to the fairgrounds and run around like the Crazies that we is. Well, Stella keeps waiting on Mom to put her harness on ..and it doesn't happen, and Dad reminds Stellie she is staying home with him....he whispers something about sweet tea and bacon...but hers doesn't care and hers starts to pugscream and it hurts my little ears, and hers throws herself on da floor and screamed some more. Mom feels bad, and grabs me and mags and her bag and runs out the door. All the while Mags and I is high 5ing and laughing like the meanies that we sometimes is.
Mom puts us in the baby car seat that we both hates which is unusual cos we always ride n the back seat to go walkies....so what is with her...and then before we know it we zoom right past the fairgrounds and we look over at our mom and ask her wth are you doing mom?!! Well, hers told us we are going to class and guess what Maggie does, no lie, its the truths ...well her pukes all over me and the car seat AND Mom's purse (not the puggy bag).....Mom pulls off the highway and tries to clean us up and calls DAD and asked him if he fed us like he wasn't supposed to do....he told Mom a lie we thinks cos he said he didn't. So Mom cleans it all up and we are headed back down the road in the little blue streak (moms car) and Maggie throws up again. Mom pulls off again, and calls dad again, and tells him to come and get Maggie cos hers don't feel to good and Mom doesn't want to drive an hour with her throwing up. So we wait on the side of the road with puke on the car seat, and Moms purse and Maggie and a little on me, and Moms is trying to clean us all up and then Dad shows up. Mom says some really bad HBO words and Dad and Maggie get in the car and Mom throws her pukey purse in Dad's back seat and they go back home WITHOUT me.
Mom says its just hers and me going to class now and tells me we are going to have a real good time. Her says she has to make a pitstop at Sonic and get some lemonade cos her nerves are shot to hedoublell and its our Dads fault ....as usual. So hers is zooming down the road cos we still have 45 min. before we get to class and she needs to go to Sonic and I is looking at her from the car seat that I am trying to rip apart cos I hates it that much.
So Mom tells Trooper #181 that her purse is in Dad's car with puke all over it cos Maggie got sick on the way to puppy class and her license and money for Sonic is in her purse. We don't think he is real worried about her having monies for Sonic but he frowns real big about the license part. He walks back to his flashy car and calls to see if Mom has any warrants and I asked her real quiet if we's gonna stay the night in jail instead of class....Mom scowls at me....geeze Mom I was just askin......When he comes back I is trying to impress him by showing him how well I can tear up the lining in my puppy car seat....when he looks back in the car he see's me a barking and ripping at the lining and I's can tell he is real impressed with me and my mom. He tells her to slow down and lets her off with a warning...we thinks its cos he didn't like the smell of puke and he wanted to get away from the crazy momma and her weird little dog. Good thing for us cos that ticket would have taken all our treat monies for a ole year.
So Mom and me get back on the road and Mom realizes she has some extra monies stashed in the ashtray so at least she can go to Sonic BEFORE i go to class. Well, I get to class and I walk right in, Mom had to carry Maggie so Mom was pretty excited about me a walkin. Then, I introduce meself to the teacher and the next thing I know hers is giving me a piece of treat called a chickenlivergizzardheart thing...uyummmy!!!! I loves it and tells my mom if this is what class is all about well lets get this show on the road!!! I show her how well I can sit and hers throw me another chickenliverzgizzardheartthingy and so I sits somemore. Then these other dogs come into the room and they are really big guys. I at first am a little nervous but we go over so I can meet them and they can meet me, and I ask them if they want my autograph cos I is that special. I tell them my name is Angus McConnell, and I quietly ask my mom NOT to call me Baby Gussie in front of my new friends.
See that little dog right here in the front, well her's liked me a whole lot, I think her name is "beautiful" or something like that but Mom thinks her name was 'jezabel". So after i went around the room and told them who I is we started working on getting all those treats the teacher had hidden in her pockets. I had to sit, and stay, and begin to learn "leave it" ...mostly I sits and laid down cos I gots tired.
See me a sitting and a laying down.
After awhile my tummy was real full of those lizardgizzardheartchicken thingys so me was ready to go home. I told Mom I am done so lets go see Maggie and Stella Rose. I said goodbye to all my new admirers/ friends, and got my homework and told my teacher I would see her next week AND to make sure she had more of those chickenlizardgizzardheart thingsy. We are gonna be learning to lay down next time. Heck I already know how to do that, so once again, I will be the star of the class.
Angus McConnell Long a/ka/ Baby Gussie